Fostering Connection: How to Communicate Effectively with Your Child

Author: Shannon Wakefield, Educational Psychologist

When it comes to being parents, it can be challenging to navigate new roles and nuanced relationships due to children’s’ changing needs as they grow up. It’s not always easy but, as parents, we play a pivotal role in shaping the lives of our children. To do that, one of the most powerful tools we have access to is effective and reciprocal communication. Communication creates the basis for trust, mutual caring and understanding as well as emotional wellbeing. In order for children to feel safe, seen, accepted and loved just as they are, it is important to learn how to communicate this to them in meaningful ways.

When it comes to communication, think quality not quantity. Are there any blocks of time in your week where your can give your child/children your undivided attention to communicate? Maybe it’s a device-free dinner a few times a week? Maybe driving to/from school is the best option. Whatever it looks like for you as a family, I would encourage you to take time to chat with your children, sharing your thoughts and hearing theirs.

Some prompts to help you get communicating a bit more reciprocally and effectively (note: everyone involved in the conversation should be given the space to talk).

1. During a device-free dinner, each person shares a peak and pit from the week (the best and worst things they faced that week/day). 
2. When did you feel most loved by me?
3. What do you wish we could do more of together?
4. What made you smile today?
5. What do you wish I knew about you?
6. If you could be a superhero, what superpowers would you have and why?
7. What is one thing I could change to help make you feel more loved/ supported?
8. What 3 words would you use to describe yourself (no wrong answers)?
9. What is your favourite memory of us?
10. What would your ideal day look like?